Drunk in Paris

I find myself drunk on these Parisian nights,
Overenthusiastic for our departure flights.
Cruel Neptune’s fury persisted to drench,
I’m assaulted by legions of the rude French,
In person, the landmarks are amusingly small,
Lament! Lament for the glory that was Gaul.
But I have my Bordeaux; I need no Paris bar.
I will dull the agony inflicted by the Eurostar.
I think I need help, I can’t seem to find my room,
Please don’t make the hotel dumpster my tomb.
I find myself drunk on these Parisian nights,
I find I’m not fond of the City of Lights.