Graceless Princess

Connoisseur of calamity,

Headbutter of car roofs,

door frames, and walls.

She wallops hard desks

Stubs her mighty head,

White rising moon over tied shoes.

 

The stacked paper scatterer

Genius of gaffes

Clumsy Colossus of lawsuits

(although she won’t sue)

 

Virtuoso of woe

Catastrophic Madonna

Nemesis of neatness, order, and glue.

 

Marbles drawn to her feet

like a Pas de deux partner

to help her pirouette to the floor.

 

Maestro of mishaps

Her hair orbits, small eddies in air

as she trips, stumbles, blunders through space

 

Mid-sentence, no permission,

her hands become pitchers

Chuck cokes to black carpets,

The umpire shouts strike four.

 

Pazuzu-possessed her hands suddenly swirl

create constellations of Hors d’oeuvres

 

Like a drunken gymnast

she tumbles

through birth-cakes

stuck landing

catches grandma aflame

 

 

 

 

Breakfast she spills

At dinner, cups drop

For dessert

she hatches

a scheme.

 

With sapphire ice cream

feels safe in the bathroom

but trips on a tampon

Stains blouse, curtains, bathtubs,

her tongue red to blue.

 

Amidst her disasters,

always, always laughter

but her laugh sings loudest of all.